KU Basketball News
There is only one player we need… Moses Jones.
He’s only 5’5" in height, but guards the rim better than Wilt. He’s only got one leg, but he slashes through defense like melted butter. He’s never missed a half court shot before.
He is the only player we need… MOses JOnes!
That is everything I really learned from being coached. You’ve got to have this guy in order to win.
Is we talkin’ Barry the Pimp or World Wide Wes?
Don’t hear that name much anymore.
Prostitution is not only the oldest profession… but also the widest spread profession in the world!
What a pity?
Having his Twitter account surveilled by Coach K who has told reporters he maintains a Twitter account under a false identity to eavesdrop on his players tweets.
Coach K = total information awareness?
FROM: jaybate 1.0, CEO/CFO jSPN
TO: Whom it may concern
RE: jSPN Productions’ new NUDE RECRUITING show
After consulting extensively with a consultant from a CBIA (Central Basketball Intelligence Agency) front organization calling itself Public Relations’R’Us Enterprises, I have decided that tawdry and schlocky though it may seem, the next big production of jSPN will be a sports reality program called “Nude Recruiting.”
jSPN is hurting for money, since we operate entirely without funding. So: we have decided to enter the for profit sports entertainment media market with a reality show in which Division 1 college basketball recruiters peel down to their birthday suits and make in homes with high school/summer game basketball prospects and their parents also completely nude. All of the participants genitalia will of course be pixellated and any swear words used will be beeped. Schools will be paid millions of dollars for agreeing to participate and recruits and their families will be comped shoes. Indications are it will be a huge hit.
(Note: all fiction. No malice.)
Jayhawk Sports News Feeds
This is likely thepost season roster for the AL Centra Champion Kansas City Royals as per their official website:
Shortstop Alcides Escobar: Escobar was put back into the leadoff spot in the lineup last week and the team promptly went 5-0. The Royals are 44 games over .500 with Escobar in the top spot since last year (including the postseason). “I’m just more comfortable hitting leadoff,” he said. “Ned said I can swing at anything no matter the count.”
Second baseman Ben Zobrist: A big acquisition before the Trade Deadline who has been solid offensively.
Center fielder Lorenzo Cain: Playing through a deep bone bruise in his right knee but says he will be fine for the postseason. “I played through it last year,” he said. “I’ll be fine.”
First baseman Eric Hosmer: Slumped in September but had a big October last year. “We had a big series to end it with Minnesota,” he said. “I think that atmosphere will help us going into the playoffs.”
Designated hitter Kendrys Morales: Definite candidate for the AL Comeback Player of the Year Award. What a signing.
Third baseman Mike Moustakas: Learned how to consistently go the other way and had a breakthrough season.
Catcher Salvador Perez: Should be much more rested this postseason than in 2014, when he clearly was fatigued.
Left fielder Alex Gordon: Dropped to the No. 8 spot and makes the order so much deeper.
Right fielder Alex Rios: Caught fire in the middle of August. Could be a sleeper weapon in his first career postseason. “I’m so proud to be able to get there with this group of guys,” he said.
Catcher Drew Butera: Was with the Dodgers last season but not on postseason roster. This will be his first postseason experience.
Utility infielder Christian Colon: One of last year’s AL Wild Card Game heroes.
Outfielder Jarrod Dyson: Could be a late-inning defensive replacement for Rios and, of course, a pinch-running threat. “I’ll do whatever I can when they ask me,” he said.
Outfielder Paulo Orlando: One of the pleasant surprises in 2015. Nice skill set as he can hit for power and has speed.
Outfielder Gore: Should get the nod because he is a magnificent weapon as a pinch-runner late in games. Simply doesn’t get thrown out, so if Yost is down by a run, he’s a game-changer. No real spot for Gomes with Rios hitting as well as he did. “No one has told me anything,” Gore said. “I hope I can make it and help them when they need me.”
Right-hander Yordano Ventura: He’s the man now. The ace. And he might go in Game 4 if there is one.
Right-hander Johnny Cueto: He was acquired to be an ace but Ventura stole the role. Cueto has been much better his last few outings after a rough patch.
Right-hander Edinson Volquez: The wild card here. Was solid most of the year, but can he produce in the postseason?
Right-hander Wade Davis: Arguably the best in baseball, and soothes the loss of Greg Holland, who was in the clubhouse with his arm in a cast after last week’s Tommy John surgery. “We hugged,” Davis said. “I know he’d like to be playing.”
Right-hander Kelvin Herrera: Brings some swagger along with that 100-mph fastball.
Right-hander Ryan Madson: Another candidate for the AL Comeback Player of the Year Award. What a season he had.
Left-hander Danny Duffy: Dropped from the rotation, Duffy has been a force in the bullpen. “Like I said when I went to the bullpen: I’m pumped,” he said.
Left-hander Franklin Morales: Struggled down the stretch.
Right-hander Luke Hochevar: Has been up and down lately, so Yost may not use him in high-leverage spots.
Right-hander Kris Medlen: Another nice comeback story who can throw strikes.
Right-hander Chris Young: He was lights-out in his last two starts after learning his father had passed away. A veteran who knows how to get outs.
Good fit for Paul, particularly withe Coach Rivers, knowing what he can do and actively wanting him in San Diego. Interesting that a player that played the majority of his career with one team will likely end up playing the last 3 with 3 different teams…which goes to show that the NBA is first and most of all a business.
On a related note, Love signed a 5 year deal with the Cavaliers, instead of signing a 1 year deal and waiting for thr new cap that will raise the cap considerably. Now, what happens if LeBron decides to jump ship? I don’t think he will and if he re-ups with a long term contract, the Cavs will be a better version of Miami with big 3 and the team to beat for the foreseeable future.
On the Heard on ESPN they had a couple of interesting discussions about the Knicks and the Lakers. Apparently players do not want to go to New York and learn the Triangle since that system is no longer used by any other team and it is an anachronism in this day and age. The Knicks re now considered the worst franchise in the NBA and they could not even get Greg Monroe that signed with the Bucks. their top trade so far has been Aflalo…Aflalo? Are you kidding me?
LaMarcus Aldridge not impressed with the Lakers, particularly the analytic they use; I guess players are becoming more savvy about technology. The general opinion seems to be that the Lakers are no longer a prime destination and players like Durant can and do get as much exposure and endorsements from small markets such as OKC.
Salvy needs some days off from the beatin’ he gets, but not when hittin’ as hot as lil’ sister’s rear. He’s just really blistering the ball right now. I also wouldn’t mind seeing Dyson in the 9 spot for Rios either. Like @brooksmd says “Speed do alot…” & Alex is hittin like “Mendoza” since his DL stint. He’s pressing too hard & needs more time to get up to full throttle…JMO
@jaybate-1.0 Regarding your current signature, you know that most kids are under 18 when they get recruited right? I don’t think that idea will ever be considered except for a very small percentage of people on a special list that we don’t want you on.
The biggest reason why Cal isn’t going to NOLA is they won’t give him full control of the personnel on the team. Cleveland was interested in Cal last year, but Cal knew he had a special group coming back and wanted a shot at going undefeated. This year, Cal was legitimately interested in the NOLA job, but Benson wasn’t going to give Cal everything he wanted ($10 mil/year and control of roster) so Cal passed on the job. Someone will give Cal what he wants in the next couple of years and Cal will go back to the NBA within the next couple of years.
@approxinfinity Any chance of pulling in the news feeds like you tried earlier?
Bugs / Requests
@approxinfinity - I was looking for Jesus all day yesterday. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the beginning of the Apocalypse.
David Beaty was with me, but he seemed a little more eager…
I created a KUBuckets twitter account a while back but don’t have any plans on putting content there, and there aren’t any plugins that automatically pull content from here. I guess I don’t really see the need for maintaining updated content on a twitter account, other than for exposure.
There is, however, a plugin that allows you to embed tweets in posts that I was interested in, but last time I tried to install it, it didn’t work. I could try at some point to install that plugin again. I did think that would be pretty cool and useful for us.